Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNSThis is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
More George Burns Quotes
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS -
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS -
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS