I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNSThis is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
More George Burns Quotes
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS -
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS