How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNSRetirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
More George Burns Quotes
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS






