Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNSToo bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
More George Burns Quotes
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS