I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNSToo bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
More George Burns Quotes
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS -
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS