This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNSIt’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
More George Burns Quotes
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS