I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNSNice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
More George Burns Quotes
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS