Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNSNice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
More George Burns Quotes
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS