You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNSNice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
More George Burns Quotes
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS






