It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNSI look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
More George Burns Quotes
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS