Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNSI look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
More George Burns Quotes
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS






