The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNSI look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
More George Burns Quotes
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS