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My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

Frank Zappa

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.
FRANK ZAPPA

Amount Atheist Difference Estate Religion
It’s better to have something to remember than anything to regret.
FRANK ZAPPA

Memories Past Regret Remember
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.
FRANK ZAPPA

Space Universe
I’m not black, but there’s a whole lot of times I wish I could say I’m not white.
FRANK ZAPPA

Black White
Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.
FRANK ZAPPA

Brown Lipstick Make Up
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
FRANK ZAPPA

College Education Laid Library
I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated.
FRANK ZAPPA

Enjoyment Irritation People
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.
FRANK ZAPPA

Deep Inspirational Mind Parachute Sarcastic
A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.
FRANK ZAPPA

Artist Force Molecule Music Suspect
Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best.
FRANK ZAPPA

Beauty Information Knowledge Love Music Truth Wisdom
Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them’s really right, cause neither of them care.
FRANK ZAPPA

Democracy Millionaire Politics Republic
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
FRANK ZAPPA

Hydrogen Life Stupidity Universe
The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.
FRANK ZAPPA

Computer Emotional Mathematics Story
Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
FRANK ZAPPA

Beware Enemy Fish People
The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they’re property.
FRANK ZAPPA

Kids Positive Property
Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.
FRANK ZAPPA

Arrangement Beginning Inspirational Play Wrong
Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.
FRANK ZAPPA

Deliver Goodness Music Religion
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
FRANK ZAPPA

Asshole Chemical Compound Drugs People
Science is moving closer to weaponry, and Art is moving closer to commercialism. And never the twain shall meet.
FRANK ZAPPA

Art Close Meet Science Weapon
All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
FRANK ZAPPA

Beyond Children Control Poor System Unfortunate Victim
Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.
FRANK ZAPPA

Communism People Stuff Work
You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain’t what you’re not. So see what you got?
FRANK ZAPPA

Be Yourself Believe
May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.
FRANK ZAPPA

Face Kiss Life Shit Struggle
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
FRANK ZAPPA

Branch Entertainment Industry Politics
Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.
FRANK ZAPPA

Business Coverage Guy Maintain Media Power
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
FRANK ZAPPA

Bore Deserve Life Listen Miserable Parents Shit Teacher
If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap.
FRANK ZAPPA

Cheap Freedom

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

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My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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