“The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else’s life.”

The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they’ll murder you in your sleep.

Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.

One size does not fit all.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain’t what you’re not. So see what you got?

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.

Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.

Music is the most physically inspiring of all the arts.

I don’t want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you don’t.

Stupidity has a certain charm – ignorance does not.

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.