I’ve learned, That when you’re in love, it shows.
ANDY ROONEYDon’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEY -
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
ANDY ROONEY -
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY -
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY -
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEY -
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY -
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY -
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY -
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY -
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY -
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY -
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
ANDY ROONEY -
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY -
Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
ANDY ROONEY