As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZNo animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






