All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nothing succeeds like address.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZ