Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZ