Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen humor goes, there goes civilization.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK