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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

Bob Hope

We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE

Bars Golf Hotter Play
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE

Baseball Character Kids Personal Plot Side
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Littles
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE

Average Funny Humorous
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

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Popular Authors

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