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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Bob Hope

Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE

Blow Home Hurricane Tornadoes Typhoon Worry
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Inspirational Sports
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPE

Adversity Better Lucky Now Pugs
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE

Appreciate Want War Winding
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

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Popular Authors

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