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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

Bob Hope

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
BOB HOPE

Congratulations Dark House
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE

Get Golf Names Vain
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPE

Country Kind Line Money One People
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE

Singing Sweet Trying

I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

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