It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPEThe stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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I have too much money invested in sweaters.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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Please don’t stand up on my account.
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE