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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.

Bob Hope

Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Golf Member Successful
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty

The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.

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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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