I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPEThe stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
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The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
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I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE -
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE