I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPEI have too much money invested in sweaters.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE -
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE -
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
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I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE