Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPEI have too much money invested in sweaters.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
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I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
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Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE