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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.

Bob Hope

Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous People
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Littles
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE

Blow Home Hurricane Tornadoes Typhoon Worry
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE

Appreciate Want War Winding
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring

It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.

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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.

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