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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!

Bob Hope

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
BOB HOPE

Golf Painting President
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Littles
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Inspirational Sports
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Golf Member Successful

Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!

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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes