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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Bob Hope

A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE

Age Calculate Fingers Rings
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

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Popular Authors

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes