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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.

Bob Hope

I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPE

Adversity Better Lucky Now Pugs
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE

Concentrate Grandchildren One Thing Tim
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE

Average Funny Humorous
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous People
Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
BOB HOPE

Christmas Image Littles Screen Touching
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars

Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.

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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.

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