On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPEMy next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE -
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE -
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE -
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE -
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE -
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE -
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE -
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE -
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE -
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE -
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE -
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE -
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE -
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE