Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPEMy next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE -
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE -
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE -
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE -
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE -
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE -
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE -
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE -
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE -
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE -
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE -
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE