I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
BILLY CONNOLLYWhenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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