I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
BILLY CONNOLLYDid your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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I don’t aim to offend.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can’t fly
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didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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I don’t believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It’s on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it’s supposed to give you a parking space. It’s worked so far.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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Don’t work out, work in.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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