Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
BILLY CONNOLLYWell, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
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I don’t think I’ve ever died on stage. I’ve had jokes that died on stage. I’ve told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn’t know it was the end of the joke.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
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Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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