I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
BILLY CONNOLLYOnce you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding’s a mystery to me now. You can’t go back, your life changes every day.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding’s a mystery to me now. You can’t go back, your life changes every day.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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There’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
BILLY CONNOLLY