Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
BILLY CONNOLLYI loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
The more you know the less the better.
BILLY CONNOLLY