Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
BILLY CONNOLLYI became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
BILLY CONNOLLY -
A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Don’t work out, work in.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
BILLY CONNOLLY