“Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.”

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.

Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.

Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.

Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?

I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.

When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.

I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That’s what girls do. I think I am a girl really.

Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.

Sure, I like to win when I play basketball or board games or video games, but my day isnt ruined if I lose. Im always up for a rematch. In all seriousness, thats something thats nice about maturing.

It’s nice to know when you’re a part of a story, it’s nice to know at least something about the beginning, middle, and end.

Now I’ve even gotten to running out to the fan buses that pass by our house, so I can talk to the people. I think I’m trying to gather fans, frankly. They’re very, very nice people – they really understand. It’s fun talking to them.

I had a nice read on the putt and I said to myself, ‘This is for you, Jesus, ‘ and knocked it in.

It’s really nice when you can sit down with somebody and just talk to them, and talk about your ideas and what you think the character is, and they respond to it. It’s a really nice way to do it, but it doesn’t happen very often.

No one pays me to be nice.

I don’t believe that prayers actually change God’s mind – if there is a God – but I liked praying for people in need. It was like moral weightlifting. I tend to be self-obsessed, and it was nice to get out of my brain once in a while.

I am the good girl and I always play the good girl. It’s nice to do that.