When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
BILLY CONNOLLYI started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
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I loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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I don’t think I’ve ever died on stage. I’ve had jokes that died on stage. I’ve told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn’t know it was the end of the joke.
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
BILLY CONNOLLY