There’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
BILLY CONNOLLYI loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
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Don’t work out, work in.
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I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
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Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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I’m a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don’t eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
BILLY CONNOLLY