I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
BILLY CONNOLLYI still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
-
-
A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
If you give people a chance, they shine.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That’s what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. … That can keep me awake for days.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
The strangest thing is at tea breaks, or coffee breaks or lunch, you forget you’re a zombie. And you’re talking about politics to somebody at the table and you forget that you have a bullet hole in your forehead.
BILLY CONNOLLY