Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHERIt’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
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You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
BILL MAHER