If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHERWe don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
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You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
BILL MAHER






