Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
BILL MAHERWe don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
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Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
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I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
BILL MAHER