I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
BILL MAHERI have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
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If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
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If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
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Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
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You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
BILL MAHER