What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
BILL MAHERI have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
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I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER