“Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.”

Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs…shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a ‘well-regulated militia’?

I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.

I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.

See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you’ve got the money!

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.

The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.

Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

The economy that’s fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government’s cracking down… on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.

Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.

Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.

How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

And when I told my sons I might be in City of Ember, they said, ‘Oh! You’re gonna be the mayor?’ And I hadn’t even read the script yet.

God would grant all of us wisdom, calm, and peace, that his presence would be in the operating room, and that his will might be done.

The basic problem with the new species of global institutions is that they have not yet become aware of themselves as living.

You just have to realize that no matter how delectable that meal looks, there’s a chance that you might not get to eat it while it’s hot.

“I wouldn’t want that to get around, Annie.” “You don’t mean that, Carl.” “Ah, we might as well call them beanies, Annie.” “Why?” “When in Rome do as the Romans do.” “Do they call them beanies in Rome?” she asked artlessly. “This is the silliest conversation.

I’m a fan myself, so when a fan does something that might be strange, I understand it.

Live each day as if it is your last,’ said Mahatma Gandhi. ‘Learn as if you’ll live forever.’ This is what I’m passionate about. It is precisely this. It is this inextinguishable.

The primary function of a constitution was to mark out the boundaries of governmental powers-hence in England, where there was no constitution , there were no limits (save for the effect of trail by jury) to what the legislature might do.