May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
BILL HICKSI, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
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I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.
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I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!
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I’ve had seven balls of light come off a UFO…explain to me telepathically we are all one and there’s no such thing as death.
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The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
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Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
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Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
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I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
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I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
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We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
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The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
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It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
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I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
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I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country…
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What before seemed a…frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
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So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.
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They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
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How do I know the Bible isn’t the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand…considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
BILL HICKS