Tonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
BILL BAILEYThe BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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Stupid National Anthem… Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? “Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit.”
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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What I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
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