I think we’ve missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro… to catch whatever it is that’s forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it’s a bit of a long shot.
BILL BAILEYYes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, “Hullo, we’re out of milk. I say mother, where’s the milk?”
More Bill Bailey Quotes
-
-
There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
BILL BAILEY -
I once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
BILL BAILEY -
What I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
BILL BAILEY -
Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEY -
Contentment is knowing you’re right
BILL BAILEY -
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
BILL BAILEY -
I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
BILL BAILEY -
People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’
BILL BAILEY -
How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
BILL BAILEY -
In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
BILL BAILEY -
I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
BILL BAILEY -
You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
BILL BAILEY -
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
BILL BAILEY -
The so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
BILL BAILEY -
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEY