The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
BILL BAILEYYes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, “Hullo, we’re out of milk. I say mother, where’s the milk?”
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
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Tonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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The so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
BILL BAILEY