The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
BILL BAILEYI tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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Tonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
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