There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
BILL BAILEYThree blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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The so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
BILL BAILEY