Contentment is knowing you’re right
BILL BAILEYThere’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
-
-
My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
BILL BAILEY -
Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
BILL BAILEY -
But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
BILL BAILEY -
It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
BILL BAILEY -
I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
BILL BAILEY -
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
BILL BAILEY -
Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEY -
Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, “Hullo, we’re out of milk. I say mother, where’s the milk?”
BILL BAILEY -
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
BILL BAILEY -
Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
BILL BAILEY -
Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
BILL BAILEY -
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEY -
Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
BILL BAILEY -
You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
BILL BAILEY -
I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
BILL BAILEY