Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
BILL BAILEYNot to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
-
-
Stupid National Anthem… Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? “Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit.”
BILL BAILEY -
Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.
BILL BAILEY -
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
BILL BAILEY -
Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEY -
I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
BILL BAILEY -
Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
BILL BAILEY -
I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
BILL BAILEY -
Work hard, save and live within your means.
BILL BAILEY -
Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
BILL BAILEY -
There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
BILL BAILEY -
Thank God for Darwin, eh?
BILL BAILEY -
I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
BILL BAILEY -
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
BILL BAILEY -
The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
BILL BAILEY -
The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
BILL BAILEY