Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
BILL BAILEYNot to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people’s doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
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The so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
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You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
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There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
BILL BAILEY