Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
BILL BAILEYI’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Tonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
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You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says “Why the long face?”. The horse replies: “I’m deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.”
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The so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
BILL BAILEY