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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

Ben Elton

I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
BEN ELTON

Book Brother Writing
No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
BEN ELTON

Natural People Waiting
I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
BEN ELTON

Criticism Easy Inspiring
I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
BEN ELTON

Baseball Oasis Vote
You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTON

Fund Lady Old Pension
You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
BEN ELTON

Dream Gears Wake Up
I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
BEN ELTON

Celebration Losing World
If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
BEN ELTON

Love Memorable People
I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
BEN ELTON

Being Love Lucky Writing
Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
BEN ELTON

Jealous Love Lying Unrequited
The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
BEN ELTON

Century Over Worst
You think I look like a teletubby?
BEN ELTON

Looks Thinking
Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
BEN ELTON

Feelings Opposite Sympathy
The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
BEN ELTON

Lasts Opera Race
I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
BEN ELTON

Exercise Hard Reason
Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
BEN ELTON

Leader Looks Trying
I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
BEN ELTON

Facts Giving Kind
I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
BEN ELTON

Nice People Thinking
The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
BEN ELTON

Doe Real World
My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
BEN ELTON

Atheist Parent Secular
The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
BEN ELTON

Hippie Self Thinking
Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
BEN ELTON

Beens Comedy Instinct
People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
BEN ELTON

First Little People
Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
BEN ELTON

Silly Stupid Wish
For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
BEN ELTON

Night Past
This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
BEN ELTON

Psychology Special Violence
And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
BEN ELTON

Beef Pudding Signature

People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

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