Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
BEN ELTONComedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
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And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
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I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
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The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
BEN ELTON