Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
BEN ELTONIf only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
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My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
BEN ELTON