The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
BEN ELTONAnd of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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You think I look like a teletubby?
BEN ELTON -
The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
BEN ELTON -
If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
BEN ELTON -
I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
BEN ELTON -
For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
BEN ELTON -
Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
BEN ELTON -
You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
BEN ELTON -
The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
BEN ELTON -
This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
BEN ELTON -
I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
BEN ELTON