I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
BEN ELTONYou didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
BEN ELTON