I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
BEN ELTONI think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we’re losing rather than a celebration of what we have.
BEN ELTON